Hope this is close to what your Wife enjoyed so much.

Joe

NORTH CAROLINA BARBECUE SLAW
1 sm. to med. head cabbage, finely chopped
1 c. ketchup
1/2 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 c. sugar
2 tbsp. salad vinegar
Dash Tabasco sauce (optional)
Mix all ingredients, except cabbage in medium bowl. Stir into cabbage. Cover tightly. Refrigerate overnight. Vary ingredients to please your taste.