PAUL REISER'S FOURTEENTH STREET EGG CREAM

Step one: Play basketball, and get real sweaty. Like rosy-cheeked, out-of-breath sweaty.

Step two: Go home.

Step three: Take a glass (a glass glass, not a plastic glass), and pour in a bunch of Fox's U-Bet chocolate syrup.* (It doesn't matter how much.)

Step four: Pour in some seltzer. (It doesn't matter how much.)

Step five: Add a little milk. (It doesn't matter how much, but too little is better than too much.)

Step six: Get a metal spoon. Now this is the only important part of the whole thing: stir vigorously and increasingly quickly, until your wrist is a blur, and the spoon is actually moving vertically. You should hear a very strong, rapid clanking of metal on glass.

Step seven: When the ferocious whirlpool has subsided, drink the egg cream very fast--in fact, a little faster than is reasonably healthy.

Step eight: Emit a long sigh, stressing the letters a and h.

Step nine: Go out and play basketball some more.

*Although purists would disagree, I say Hershey's chocolate syrup is just as good.

Serves 1
Source: The Second Avenue Deli Cookbook by Sharon Lebewohl and Rena Bulkin