Hi Janice - I hope you are planning a fabulous 40th birthday!

My first idea for you is: say “YES” to
anyone who offers to bring something to
your party!! It’s YOUR birthday, after all!

As to your question about amounts: an
English cookbook I have says to have 12
“bites” per person at a cocktail party that
isn’t followed by dinner. That seems seriously understated for the appetites of my friends, though! Actually, from my experience, a “cocktail” party, even one that starts after 8 pm (thus after the “dinner hour”) still calls for those 12 “bites” PLUS a big veggie-and-dip basket, crackers and cheese spreads, chips and dip, and meat dishes like your chicken wings and meatballs, and shrimps, etc. But, leftovers seem like a the preferred alternative to running short of food.

As to those “12 bites”.... if you go to the
“Site Map” here on TKL, and choose the
“Appetizers, Dips, Spreads” selection in the
lefthand column, you will find many recipes
already posted here that might inspire you -
there is even a choice called “10 freeze ahead
appetizers,” though many of the other lists
include recipes that are good for making
ahead and freezing.

From my experience, some items that freeze
well include:
~ recipes that use pie crusts such as mini
quiche, small turnovers (like empanadas filled with “picadillo” or curried ground beef, or cooked mushrooms -- do a search for these items here on the site). I prefer to cook these as directed before freezing, and reheating for serving.
~ things made with puff pastry also freeze
well - freeze before the baking step (try a search
on “palmiers,” or see recipe for Talmouse
below);
~ items made with filo/phyllo dough also
freeze well - search on phyllo and filo, or for
“spinach and phyllo triangles” or “filo kisses”
(I posted a recipe recently for that one that is
yummy);
~ mini cream puffs can also be baked ahead
and frozen, then defrosted and filled with a
little chicken or tuna salad the day of the
party. They are actually easy to make.
~ one last item that can wrap and freeze
easily are eggroll and wonton wrappers.

Here are additional make-ahead recipes that I haven’t seen here that I especially like:

Talmouses au Fromage
(From an old Julia Child cookbook, “From
Julia’s Kitchen.”)

2 ounces (1/4 cup) roquefort or other blue cheese
1 egg, beaten, divided
Drops of worcestershire sauce pepper
1 tablespoon sour cream or creme fraiche
1 lb. puff pastry dough, defrosted per directions

Cream the cheese with half the egg and season. Add the sour cream to make a fairly thick paste that holds its shape.
Cut dough into 2” squares. Place a teaspoon of cheese mixture in center of each square. Moisten the 4 corners of each with cold water and pinch corners together over top of the filling. Place bundles on a lightly greased cookie sheet, cover loosely and chill at least 30 minutes before baking (or, freeze and then place in sealed container and baked straight from the freezer).

Preheat oven to 450F degrees. Blend a teaspoon of water into the remaining egg and brush over pastries, then glaze again. Bake 12 to 15 minutes, until puffed and brown - the corners spread open during baking, but stay upright to hold in the filling. Bake a little longer if they’ve been frozen. Serve warm.
*Notes - I prefer to cut the dough in slightly
smaller squares and use a bit less of the
filling in each one. A garlic-cream cheese
and herb filling can substitute for the blue
cheese.Curried Peanut Chicken
(based on an old Silver Palate recipe)

4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves,
poached and cut into bitesized (1”) pieces
1-1/2 cups mayonnaise
3 tablespoons mango chutney (that is the
original recipe, but I like a little more)
2 tablespoons dry sherry (not necessary but
good - use an additional 1/2 tablespoon
vinegar instead, if you want)
1 tablespoon sherry vinegar (red or white
wine vinegar is a fine substitute)
2-1/2 tablespoons curry powder
2 cups roasted salted peanuts, finely chopped

Blend mayonnaise through curry powder well, until any chunks in the chutney are fairly smooth. Coat each piece of chicken in sauce and the roll in chopped peanuts. Place on cookie sheets on waxed paper and either chill well until serving, or freeze and then transfer to sealed container (defrost completely before serving). Sprinkle with chopped cilantro (fresh coriander), if desired and provide toothpicks for serving.

Hope you have a fabulous birthday.....